What We Had

Remember those days? When we would just lay there on your bed and stare at each other? Pouring our hearts out. Our pasts. Why we are the way we are. What makes us special. Heck, we were planning our future, sortaish. It was fun. I was so happy. And so were you.

When I would drive to your house along Whitehall and Chester, The whole way, butterflies; they would bust in and flutter away with excitment and with nervousness. Will I do something foolish? No, You would just smile at me and look at me with those eyes.

Remember when we helped your mom? We put up decorations. And you said "When we live together, I'll watch you put up the decorations in the cute way you are now. Because I can't. I just want to watch you." I almost fainted with happiness. When my uncle died, and I came back from the funeral, I was in all black, you made fun of me, you made me laugh after a day of tears. You played optimistic country music to make me feel better. and it did. That day was when i knew I could and would love you. I thought we would be like that forever. In love, with each other.

But that can't happen. All that's left now are memories. They make me cry, but they make me strong. I don't think we could ever be that happy again. The things you said to me, you did not mean, your pushing me away for some reason. I don't know why, I probably never will.

Remember those nights? Where you held me tight. you kissed my forehead and say "be happy, it could be worse"
"Yeah, I wouldn't be with you." at that moment you smiled and kissed me so hard. I couldn't let you go. I still can't. you may think you have, but your wrong, Im still here, I'll leave you "Alone" and if you do need me, you better get down on your knees and apologize and mean it. Im not going to fall in love again and get my heart broken. I gave you a chance, and you didn't even use it.

You may think I don't love you and that it's too soon for me to love, but don't ever question my love. I Still feel love for you. As creul as you were. You were not yourself. But, I guess it is what it is.

Now, Im going to walk with my head high, the tears have been shed, my heart has been broken and it's slowly fixing itself, no else is going to, so it's all up to me. I have to pick up MY pieces. MY life. No one's here, so it's up to me. I'll put on a smile and try to "Move on and get over it" as you so kindly say.

But, when you think back, remember those days and nights when we were together. Just think back and remember, why would you give that up? And if you could have it back, would you take it?